The Pleasure in Painting

Well Tyra, since you asked so nicely, don’t mind if I do…

I myself am 5’9 too Allyssa, and being a tall girl I know that you often have to bend and twist your body around to get yourself into a shot. And to me, that’s what you’re doing girl. Here are the signs: your stomach coming forward in exactly the same way mine does when I lean forward trying to twist, while the same time leaning forward in front of a store mirror. You’re also doing the novice hip jutted to the side pose, and you’re is so worried about  your posture you aren’t engaged with the man she is supposed to be performing here with. She’s practically pulling away from him. Yea these kinds of ads claim to sell panties but they’re really selling sex/chemistry primarily. The promise of all of that and more which will come when you buy these $300 glorified panty and bra set. 

I’ll tell you what the problem with this shot is, Brittany hasn’t got her face on camera. If this was a glamour, running on the beach in a flowing kaftan, then go ahead and do you thing girl. But again, they’re selling sex here, so she really needs to give the camera a smouldering look. Look at this hot guy feeling me up, don’t you want this kind of heat in your life? That sucker punch is what’s lacking in the shot. I will say though, she might have gotten away with not looking the camera, if she was looking at the man. If they gave each other a really heated look and his body language was more in tandem with hers. I could go for that.

Darian has fallen victim to the same problem as Allyssa; Posture pandering. She’s doing that lean back look that we all do when we hit the beach and are trying to show off. The thing is, it’s making her torso (from below the bust to her arms and head), look like it’s being stretched like putty. This shot is also lacking in sexual heat between the couple; he’s leaning in and she’s looking like she’s contemplating whether to fall back over the roof to keep him from getting any closer. 

This picture has one thing the others thus far don’t: there is a connection of some sort between the couple. The unfortunate thing is, Destiny and her partner  have body language that says he’s just pulled her from the brink of death, and she’s clinging to him with fear. Not any sexual heat going on here either. 

Hey we’re the same height Jessie! One word comes to mind when I look that this picture: PREENING. It’s like she’s smiling up to the sun, sniffing the sky, and trying to be the innocent/sexy nature frolicker. There is literally no communication between her and her partner here, in fact they both look like they’re to absorbed in themselves and the sun to consider each other. 

This looks like an environmental, tree huger ad Kiara. I’m down for this, but to me it seems like they’re selling bikini’s and sex in the other adds, so this one is kind of out of left field for me. Are they trying to pull the tree out of the ground to protect it, or wind themselves into it? Not a good look.

Kristin I’m sorry, I’m just going to be honest with you. The only thing in this shot that I’m feeling is the mans biceps, torso, face. He’s looking at her, and she’s not looking back (I can’t understand why). This picture does nothing to me except showcase his amazing physique. Look how strong I am, I can lift you up and carry you away to my abode…please do.

This is not a very good one Laura. You’d think with so much height they’d have given you  a dramatic leggy pose, complete with him on his knees in front of her or something. But instead, it’s more of a Romeo and Juliet sort of moment. Like she’s dying and he’s telling her how he feels now. I don’t want to be dying in a bikini  do I? Hmmm on second thought, my body is looking on point this summer. Nope…I have a lot of living to do. 

You are halfway there Leila. What is lacking in the other pictures is a smoldering look that stops the reader from turning the next page in their magazine. But as their eyes trail down beyond your face they see that your hip area contradicts what your face and his face is saying. Up top your’e saying ready for action, in the thick of it, at the hips you’re running away. I think Tyra would say your eyes are on point, but your body is not on the same page. 

This is an odd shot. I have no idea why the male model is sitting with his legs spread open, while Natasha’s body language says she’s trying to pull away. Also her face looks completely indifferent between whether she should walk away, or stay and play. Another confused capture. 

Victoria I’m sorry, but there are a few things that are off about this picture. Your head is tilted too far backwards: add to that how you have your arms wrapped around yourself, it gives off a stay away vibe. I’m not sure if that’s what those panty retailers want to tell people. The male model looks ambivalent; he couldn’t care less where he was, or that he’s in her company. He’s just chillin and doing his thing. Overall very lackluster. 

Last but not least is Yvonne. You’d think with such a physically close pose there would be a sense of chemistry here; their cores are pressed up against each other, they’re splashing around in water, but nope…nothing. Her head is leaned back too far as if she’s a rag doll, and I can’t get over how his face looks like he’s in a different place.

Are you for real with these shots Tyra? Is this one of your publicity stunts to get people tuned in to this hot mess of a show that hurts so bad it’s good?  I’ve never modeled a day in my life, and I know I could do better then all of these shots. 

…..Just sitting here trying to think about what possibly the British Airlines could have snatched from Kim’s luggage.  Inquiring minds (namely me and whoever clicks in to read this), want to know. I’m guessing she’s referring to the luggage that goes through baggage claim. With that in mind…

HERE ARE THE OPTIONS:

1. Weapons of mass destruction - Can’t be, they’d have her in jail right now, and she’d be calling Kanye to take care of the situation. 

2. Weapons Toys of mass Seduction - Sex toys, lube, furry hand cuffs, feathers, er beads.  

Number 2 seems more likely. 

If it was lube, most flight people are really extra when it comes to liquid anything. When I traveled to Paris, France and then Nigeria a a few years ago (through Toronto’s Pearson Airport), they took my bottle of hand lotion (which was half full and thus 100 ml), and told me the bottle was large so it was to go in the discard pile e bin of freebies the bastards play lottery with when all the boarding passengers leave. I wasn’t sure what the policy was on dildos, beads, and any other sex toys someone might be…making use of, so that meant it was time to dig deeper. 

Having never flown via British Airways, I looked into their flight policies

British Airways Flight policies: 

If you buy any individual liquid, gel or cream products of more than 100ml on board a flight and you are transferring onto another flight, please ask a member of cabin crew to place your purchases and receipt inside a clear tamper-proof bag, which must be sealed.

Any products not sealed in a clear tamper-proof bag with the receipt are liable to be confiscated in transit or at disembarkation.

British Airways cannot accept liability for any products that are confiscated.

———————————————————————————————————————————-

Restrictions on the quantities of liquids, gels or pastes are:

• they must be held in individual containers not exceeding 100ml (3.5 US ounces)
• the containers must be carried in a separate, clear-plastic, zip-top or re-sealable bag
• the bag must not exceed 20cm x 20cm (8ins x 8ins) in dimensions
• the bag must not exceed one litre capacity
• the bag must be completely closed
• the items must fit comfortably in the bag
• the bag must be x-ray screened separately from other hand baggage at airport security points
• before boarding, secondary searches may be performed if you are carrying liquids.

Duty-free goods containing liquids may be carried, provided they are purchased after the security screening point. We advise you to pack any duty-free liquids in your checked baggage where possible.

If you are departing the US or Canada, your duty-free liquids will be delivered to the boarding gate or pick-up point in the secure area in a Sealable Tamper-Evident Bag (STEB).

British Airways were either intentionally giving her a hard time for having lube, and or massage oils, or they somehow believed that it might be suspicious. Companies selling sex products often conceal their packaging for discretion, so they might have thought hmmmm. 

• Flammable liquids- paint, petrol, lighter refills, solvents, varnish, etc.
• Flammable solids- firelighters, Chinese lanterns, etc.
• Substances liable to spontaneous combustion- Phosphorous
• Substances that emit flammable gases in contact with water 
• ETC…

Is lube flammable or potentially so? I decided to have a look: 

Now in regards to non-liquid items: dildos, beads, and any other sex toys, here is their policy: 

I pick DUREX PLAY LUBE GEL for my lube example: 

First offense? It’s 500 ml. Even if it only had 100ml or less, they’d chuck it on her.

Second potential offense? It can make you tingle. And it’s gotta have something in there for it to do that. Upon further inspection I discovered, It’s got some warnings…

Caution before using Durex Play Tingle Lubricant Gel :

• Avoid contact with eyes.

• If you experience irritation using this lube – stop using it. If irritation continues, see your doctor.

• Store in a cool, dry place.

• Use within 3 months of opening.

• Keep out of reach of children.

  
  

It’s a potential irritant - which is no bueno on air flights, has temperature restrictions, which is also not good. 

Now as to non-liquid items (such as dildos, vibrators, beads, an other sex objects) These rules may apply in regards to items which MUST be reported prior to boarding: 

Restricted items requiring notification to British Airways

Mercury-filled items - barometers, thermometers, etc.

Heat-producing articles – underwater torches, soldering irons, etc.

Lithium ion batteries – with a Watt-hour rating exceeding 100 Wh but not exceeding 160 Wh.

(SPARE Lithium batters also are restricted full stop -as the Brits say. If they see it, they’re taking it out of your bags.) 

This intrigued me. I thought to myself, do vibrators have mercury in them? Do any dildos have mercury in them a well? I can imagine Vibrators or dildos can have heat producing properies in them, I mean that’s what they’re for! And what about battery powered vibrators? 

I decided to investigate further….

Dildos:

Cyberglass four way G Dildo 

SO REAL 6’

Bree’s Colossal cock 6.5’

I have found an article claiming that Toxins may be present in sex toys. 

Background

Phthalates are substances that are added to certain plastic products to make them pliable and flexible. For example, up to 74% of the weight of a typical household shower curtain is due to phthalates, artificially added to the plastic to give it an elastic property. Phthalates are also added to many plastic and rubber based vibrators [NOTE: and I’d imagine the fleshy dildos as well] , and while the Food and Drug Administration is not thrilled about the substance and is aware of it’s toxic effects, since the FDA does not regulate the sex toy industry, there is no mention of sex toys in their 49 page report on phthalates. (THE EXAMINER)

 The article also mentions that there is a low amount of regulation amongst the sex toy industry, and low rate manufacters will be cutting corners like this. An it can affect your health; from skin cancer, and other unfortunate results.). So buy quality if you’re using these products. 

Royal Rabbit Vibrator Kit

This kit contains the beads, swiveling head, fleshy skin, and any other attachment you might find on a vibrator, so that’s why I’m using this as an example. It’s going to require batters, lube, a multitude of things to operate to top…er frequency. 

Take a looky loo at what I discovered about Vibrators:

Printed circuit boards, which many vibrators feature,contain hazardous metals such as lead, chromium, cadmium and mercury. (REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE)

So there you have it. Pondering whether I should tweet Kim my findings, or leave it alone….

Bye for now. 

THE PALME D’OR (The most prestigious award for the best film, presented to the director of the film ) went to 

LOVE (AMOUR) by Michael Haneke  (French-Germany-Austria)

The story tells a decade long love affair between an elderly couple played by Emanuelle Riva and Jean-Louis Trintignant. 

The Grand Prix (Gran Prize of the Festival) went to

Matteo Garone’s REALITY (ITALY)

This is an Italian drama film, which is set in the world of reality TV. It tells the story of a Neapolitan fishmonger, who takes part in Italy’s version of Big Brother (Grande Fratello.  

The Prix de la mise en scene (Best Director) went to

Carlos Reygadas  for POST TENEBRAS LUX (MEXICO)

Post Tenebras Lux (Latin for Light After Darkness) is a semi-autobiographical film, which follows a couple in rural Mexico (as well as moments in England, Spain, and Belgium, countries where the director himself has lived.  Reygadas says half of it is rich with fantasy and desire, and the other half is reality. The poster makes a lot more sense to you now I’m sure.

The Prix du scenario (Best Screenplay) went to 

Writer/director Cristian Mungiu for Beyond the Hills (Romania)

A Romanian drama film, which follows two women at an Orthodox convent in Romania. 

Director Ken Loach for Angels’ Share 

This film tells the story of a young father - determined to turn over a new leaf - who narrowly avoids a jail sentence.

Prix d’interpretation feminine (Best Actress) went to

a shared victory between Beyond the Hills actresses Cosmina Stratan and Chrstina Flutor 

(Christina Flutor pictured left, Cosmina Stratan right with director Cristian Mungiu) 

Prix d’interpretation masculine (Best Actor) went to 

This is Denmark’s showing, and it tells the story of a man who - around Christmas time, in a small village in Denmark - becomes the target of mass hysteria. 

I made a comment on LiveJournal ‘s most popular community (OHNOTHEYDIDNT: The Celebrities are disposable. The gossip is Priceless) which I’m a member of, and I got a million replies from people not only telling me how much they agree with my opinion (see below), but also how much they love ME and my comments: 

The topic of discussion was Will Smith and  Jada Pinkett-Smith allowing their daughter Willow to experiment with her hair and her look. Please click the picture above to read his insightful comments. 

For context, here are some of Willows chic styles: 

Please mind the grammar and syntax (on LJ we all use abbreviations and we don’t bother too much with formatting): 

I SAID: I agree that parents shouldn’t be telling their children what they do with their hair. It’s enough that you have control over where they go etc. But dude they’re basically going off at 18 so you need to leave them to have control over their body and how they choose to appear. They learn lessons about life and grow themselves. I think people need to have room to make their own mistakes and discover who they are.

Trying to reply to the wealth of people who took the time to show me love. 

So basically, this is literally how I look right and feel right now: 

BALLET BUN (complete with wisps of hair coming from the sides and sometimes around the name of the neck):

NATURAL/AFRO: 

^My hair texture is just like what you see above before I do a braid out, so this: 

post braid out, is what I’m rocking this summer!

BRAID UPS:

I think when I straighten my hair next I might give this look a go. I do like to braid the front of my hair anyway, and I think this is a cute look that keeps your hair from sweating out your neck. 

BRAIDS:

I wore my hair like this for years before, had red braids in earlier this year, and was loving it. It was so easy to maintain, and it so beautiful. 

SUMMER CUTS: 

I’d imagine it would/should be pretty easy to maintain a shorter do, unless you happen to have naturally curly hair - you might end up constantly flat ironing it. :/ 

TWISTS:

Twists are a really great protective style for African American hair. Easy to maintain, beautiful, and - as is the case with braids - a roll out of bed and go style. 

DREADLOCKS: 

Some say they’re easy, some say they take a lot of commitment. Is it the natty dread element that has so many people fascinated? It can’t just be about King Bob Marley? They say beauty is pain, so if it’s a lot of work, the payoff is beautiful. Maybe that’s why so many are doing it? :)

Which style will you be rocking? 

Nasty Gal, Free People Thank you! 

While browsing the Wikipedia page of one of my favorites (artist/director/actor/model) Matthew Gray Gubler, I discovered that he went to the LAS VEGAS ACADEMY OF INTERNATIONAL STUDIES AND PERFORMING AND VISUAL ARTS.

And as I usually do, I clicked in to the schools page to see if any other famous alum  might have attended. This is what I found: 

I said to myself 

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME that Ne-yo and Matthew Gray Gubler went to THE SAME high school? You can’t imagine the excitement that coursed through me (being an admirer of both men), and I had to know more.

Naturally I went deep into the trenches to investigate: after clicking into Ne-Yo’s page (to see how long he attended) I was shocked with what I discovered:

NE-YO

MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Both aged 32.  Same school, same halls, same classes (THEATRE: ACTING for Gubler, MUSIC for Ne-Yo, both Performing arts!!) 

So much sexy in the same school, at about the same time. Oh me, oh my!

As Cannes Film Festival draws to a close, I like to take the time to partake in one of my favourite pastimes: searching for and critiquing while eating apricots or any other summer fruit, perhaps a glass of wine, the outfits. So I’m making it easier for all of you. Here is the good, the better, and the knockouts: 

Kristen Stewart attending the Cannes Screening of (her beau) Robert Pattinson’s Cosmopolis. She really knocked out a winner with this one. Her first dress was a white dress with green brocades over it, and a slit up to mid thigh. It was OK, but it doesn’t even come close to this one. I like to think she saved the best to look for last. Everyone knew she was coming to the Cosmopolis screening, and she turned up bringing the heat, lady in red her A-game. Look at the stunning lace inlet on her back, the well cut V, and how it flows and drapes in a light puddle around her ankles. Nothing but praise for her makeup too: the red lipstick with a red dress is classic and flawless. 

It looks like it may be Prada or Cavalli maybe? He’s a very classic dresser when he wears a suit and is mainly seen in a t-shirt, jeans, maybe a beanie). Too bad he doesn’t dress up like this more often. Dapper, sexy. 

Model Anja Rubik wearing one of my personal favourite designers Ellie Saab. This is is not a dress for a woman with a larger chest or broader shoulder. Nevertheless, Anja clearly wears Saab well. The dress is a winner, and I have no complaints about her makeup either. 

This is Model Doutzen Kroes in Ellie Saab. Yes another Ellie Saab dress is making my best dressed list. Didn’t I just tell you how much I love his work? If he would design my wedding dress….Cough! This dress is a winner because it’s shinny and not overly so. The subtle pleats carry shine down one panel, followed by a sheer pannel and another shinny one. There is that same balance echoed in the cut of the dress as well. It flows so beautifully and hits her in all the right places. Of course a model is said to not have to work very hard to look good, but she this a woman who gave birth to a son in January 2011! And some of us have heard or experienced how a woman’s body can change after that kind of a life changing event. I also love that she kept her makeup fairly simple: nothing too shinny or exciting. The woman and the dress become the main event. 

Actress Nicole Kidman wearing Lanvin. Nicole looks amazing at every award and film festival season. Here is no exception! It has regal and grecian vibe to it. But I love that she her dresser/fashion person who dresses her chose this bright magenta colour instead of the usual black or white colour which is often paired with this shape of dress. The band at the waist looks like it was hand gathered and tied back. I love the black band around the neck area on the bias: it’s the piece holding the dress together, but there is that difference because it is so far off centre and it works. Her hair and makeup is just right, no complaints here. 

Model, TV personality Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli. This dress is a show stopper. I love the flapper quality to it. Somehow you’d think the hem should have ended at the knee - because of the rope and seemingly moving elements to it - but the dress is tailored so well that it works. The opening at the neckline really elevates the dress further because it stops it from over-dating it. It’s a nod to a period, not a plucking from it. The tassels hanging backwards gives the people something to look at as she walks away, but placing it in the back again prevents it from being too much. I’m glad I saw this picture after the airport pictures of her returning back to LAX wearing those atrocious pants: 

Actress Elodie Bouchez in Chanel Couture. I actually love everything about this dress, and It’s not something I’d gravitate towards normally…er when I’m painting the town. I  think if you’re covering one thing, you should give a taste of the other. A bit of cleavage, some leg, back, it’s all good just not at the same time. This dress is almost completely covered up, it’s incredibly conservative. Yet the cut of the dress and the interesting elements of it, make me love it. First off, she’s wearing it well: The jacket is tailored with a capital T, the form fitted silhouette does offer enough sexy that you don’t find it strange that there is almost no skin to lighten it up. The shock of black along the bottom - appearing to be mesh wisps coming out of the bottom of the dress -really adds that further element of intrigue. I also love that she went for such a bold lip as well. A surprisingly satisfying look. 

More here.

Thank you CBS

Video’s where people creep like it’s a digital short saying ultra personal things, while the camera is moving at strange angles. They have an intensely voyeuristic quality to it, and coupled with the content, it’s like that train wreck you shouldn’t be watching. One of those scenes where you can’t seem to peel your eyes away - even though some part of you is begging you to do just that - because you don’t want to miss the cringe moment you know is coming. 

“Hi baby girl, everything’s OK, I promise.”

“I forgive you.  It’s OK don’t worry about it.”

“I love you so much. I love you more than there are grains of sand. Of every beach, of every planet.” 

“You mean more to me than….than…than…than…[insert random comparison of franchise chains, diamonds, greedy people, and all else.]” 

“I love you, I’m never going to stop loving you…I lavvvve youu, hehehe. Bye babe, and remember stay perfect [wiggles eyebrows] just for me.. hehehe.” 

“Princess, we just completed our first week in Austin (Britney Spears is an X Factor Judge this season, AI is going through the contestants right now. This is her Fiancee speaking. :/ )…and I love you so much. Get back in here so we can go to sleep.” 

I think it’s the camera angle that’s creeping me out. Why couldn’t he text her all this or just sit up and talk to her fans or something? Yet I kept watching expecting something TMI to turn up and technically it never came. 

Yup it’s the camera angle. 

You may have heard about the sad state of affairs in football these days: rampant racism, prejudice, and racial slurs slung at players at international football stages. 

THEO WALCOTT 

————————————————

News just broke that Theo Walcott’s family (father and brother), had booked flights and accommodation to watch their son compete at this summer’s EUROCUP. After watching programs which reported racial profiling, and racially motivated violence which is said to be taking place in the Ukraine, they decided to stay home and support him from England. 

Amnesty International agrees with Walcott’s family:

“Fans and families visiting Ukraine for Euro 2012 have good cause to be concerned about their safety – particularly those of a racial minority,” the organisation said.

Ukraine is known to have a corrupt and vicious police force that openly targets individuals because of their skin colour. A recent case involes two intoxicated police officers in a Ukraine suburb, pulling over a person of colour and beating him for hours with their batons , taking turns when the other became tired, and all the while shouting racial slurs at him. 

And there is more where that came from: 

Manchester United’s Patrice Eva was subjected to boos and taunts on the field by Liverpool fans at Anfield because he was racially abused by Luis Suarez.

PATRICE EVA

WOLVERHAMPTON COACH TERRY CONNOR

A rule called The Rooney Rule, which requires National Football League teams to interview minority candidates for head coaching positions.  People yell and complain about it, and coaches who belong to a minority group become disrespected in the same way. 

—————————————————

There is this unspoken expectation in football, that when a player is being racially attacked, they are to keep their mouth shut and say nothing. When the issue is addressed - and a player is consequently suspended or fined - the player who was the victim gets attacked for speaking up about it. 

It sickens me that such a universal sport - played all over the world - would have a culture of racism attached to it. This is an issue which is ever prevalent, and it cannot be ignored. The racism reaches the players, coaches, and not their families. More measures have to take place to ensure that these players are respected and given the dignity they deserve. 

More later. 

***

They felt ashamed admitting it, you can see the look of disgust on their friends faces as Monica and Joey reveal their secret. For those interested in watching one of the best episodes of Friends ever it appears on season four, episode one. What away to start a new season eh? 

Friends talked about it, and now Cannes is tackling that very same issue. 

CANNES, France — US director Lee Daniels had some explaining to do in Cannes Thursday over a scene in his new film “The Paperboy” which sees Nicole Kidman pee on the jellyfish sting of her co-star Zac Efron.
The movie premiered on Thursday casts Kidman as a small-town vamp whose tacky sensuality proves mesmerising to the fresh-faced youth played by Efron, a world away from his “High School Musical” debut in the Florida-set thriller.
When Efron’s character Jack is caught in a bank of jellyfish, Kidman shoves aside a gang of girls about to urinate on his stings — as received wisdom would dictate — and proceeds to do it herself.
“I’m not here to please everybody — I’m here to tell truth,” Daniels said when quizzed about the sequence, suggesting the buzz of amused disbelief it caused on the Internet was because people “have a fetish about it”.

“Jellyfish cure is by urinating on the skin, that is just the way Pete Dexter wrote the book, I executed the vision,” Daniels told AFP after a press screening of the film, which he based on a novel of the same name.
“He is frustrated because he can’t get his girlfriend, he wants this woman, he goes out to swim because he’s furious, he’s swimming off his frustration… and half way through he is attacked by jellyfish.”
Matthew McConaughey, who plays Jack’s crusading reporter brother Ward in the movie, chipped in a word, saying: “That is, practically, what you are supposed to do for a jellyfish sting!
“Of all the things in the movie that are shocking, that was kind of a light scene!” added John Cusack, who plays the part of Hillary, a death row inmate who takes up a correspondence with Kidman’s character.

How can something so beautiful cause so much pain?

Of course all of this pee talk begs the question: would you take one for the team and pee on your friend if they desperately needed you?

cough:: we know what the word sounds like/implies. But it’s nothing to do with monkey business, it’s more along the lines of…..